Five Principles of Verbal Messages (Week2Post1) JWCD

You know what? Just let me write everything down before thinking of a title BEFORE I forget everything.

Today it just snapped in my head - Everytime when I write about Human Communication in the blog I end up cancelling it off. Why? Because everything I write somehow looks like something that should be on a Psychology blog or something. Then it occured in my head that why it happens too much is that 1. I may be too emo and 2. Psychology is part of human communication.

Ok, ignore the first part, and the second part is like DUH!!? Then let me put it this way: Psychology is part of Human Communication a.k.a. the Human Comm. subject. Get it? Maybe you don't, but anyway let's move on.

But what I want to explain, which sounds kind of crazy, is that the need for psychological analysis on the Human Communication subject is much more significant when human communication goes wrong; when we fail to apply or wrongly apply or don't apply all together theories in Human Communication. And that's why all the 3 posts I wrote always sound like psychological analyses.

Okay. So today I was in Mama's Kitchen, almost finishing my meal in front of me, thinking about what I am going to write on the blog, and much to my dismay, this Chinese guy came up to me. A China Chinese. Okay. Let me tell you beforehand, 1. I've met this guy once in Mama's Kitchen before, and 2. DON'T YOU DARE LAUGH AT THIS, and YES I KNOW I'M PECULIAR WEIRD AND CRAZY but continuing on, 2. the last time I met him in Mama's Kitchen, I listened to him talking about all kinds of stuff from 5PM to 9PM, NO KIDDING, NO BLUFFING, and even liars wouldn't think of something as stupid as this but YES! I'm stupid enough to listen on for FOUR FREAKING HOURS!! When I went back and evaluate, they were interesting but not necessarily facts. So they're supposedly "fun fictions", not fun facts.

So the last thing I want to do is having the privilege to talk to him. But yes! I was unusually lucky today, and so after complaining to the auntie about the RM13 price on his food (despite the 40% discount. To all the people who do not know what I'm talking about, Mama's Kitchen has a discount from 3PM onwards until their 6PM closing time.), and mind you, he had a MOUNTAIN of rice in one plate and a MOUNTAIN of veggies in another. My GOD! Perhaps he thought that veggies are supposed to be cheaper, but too bad he took the veggies that takes more effort to prepare and hence the price, according to the auntie. But WTH?! I mean HOW IN THE WORLD do they survive with such binge-eating?! How in the WORLD?! can they eat SO MUCH RIIIIICEEEE?!! So after talking to the auntie, and paying his RM13 (futile resistance muahahahahaha), he came to me and sat next to me. Ahhhh very lucky gal I am, having a guy sit next to me just like that. Yes I'm just sooooo lucky today.

And then after talking it seems that he's finished his studies and waiting to go back to China soon before transferring to UK or something. BUT then, let's say, in short, that he asked me for a favor. He asked me if I could meet him around 11AM tomorrow at a phone shop he bought his phones from at Pusat Bandar Damansara (To make it simply it's just somewhere outside the HMC tunnel opposite Mama's Kitchen.) so I can interpret what he said to the shopkeeper who knows only how to speak English about what he wants with his phone or something. And when I ask him to tell me roughly what he wants to tell the shopkeeper so I can have a rough idea and a mental preparation of what needs to be translated, he hesitated before telling me his issue about his SIM card and that he wants to take it out and give the phone back to the shopkeeper. I didn't ask anything deeper. Okay. So let's assume he's renting it or he wants to trade-in. Hmm.

Then I asked why he needs me? Surely his English is not that bad since he's qualified to go to England to further his studies already, and I've heard his English, it's not that bad. He said that he needs me to translate so "nothing would get screwed up". When I asked him to explain what it meant, he just repeated his answer as many times I repeated my question. Hmm.

Then the way he looked at me and spoke to me is just wrong. I don't know why, but the way he looked at me was like cooing a prostitute. Forgive me, but this is how I feel. I had no contempt against him or whatsoever, but I felt this because when he sat beside me and greeted me it was a normal man's voice. And when he asked me for the favor his voice was of a cooing sort. Like a dove. And shone his innocent puppy eyes at me. Hmm.

I arranged a time with him about 11AM at the shop. As I was leaving there, I reaffirmed him that his English is not that bad. Then he started to praise me that I am very good in my English and keeps doing so even when I told him to stop. Hmm.

And lastly when I went back to the hostel I kept feeling that uncomfortable feeling which I identified as a mild disgust. Let's evaluate.

1st Hmm - His usage of words isn't quite right. "Afraid things would go wrong?" "Scared of screwing something up?" He only needed to just pinpoint WHAT exactly he thinks will go wrong, and that would have sounded a hell more convincing. Or if he doesn't even know what exactly may go wrong, then why in the world does he need my help? Or he is lazy to cross a bit of his English-language barrier to talk with the shopkeeper? Either way, it is not respectful to ask someone a favor without even getting straight what exactly the favor you are going to ask out of them. According to the Five Principles of Verbal Messages (Chapter 4): Messages vary in abstraction, message vary in directness. But that was too abstract and indirect, he shouldn't have beat around every bush. And according to Mr. Murali, being under-informed is dangerous!

2nd Hmm - His explanation is foggy and he refuses, if not failed to make a clear explanation. According to the Five Principles of Verbal Messages (Chapter 4): Messages vary in abstraction, message vary in directness. But that was too abstract and indirect, he shouldn't have beat around every bush. And according to Mr. Murali, being under-informed is dangerous!

3rd Hmm - The last time I talked to him, he's a typical Chinese guy that thinks girls should somehow still be below a man, and he wants to marry a submissive woman. According to Five Principles of Verbal Messages (Chapter 4): Message meanings are in people, messages are influenced by culture and gender. So the point I'm trying to make is, he doesn't treat me like an equal, as a student, as someone who is in an age margin that can accept everything as long as it is feasabily equal, as someone that accepts what you say as a human to human, not gender-related. And he also made himself look pathetic by looking at me with those eyes. It's not playfully making an innocent face; he just had that face which is not playing-around. Either he was really trying to earnestly seeks help or not, well too bad I'm not interested in romance or anything; I'm not saying he's trying to hit on me, no. So either he was really trying to seek help or not, he failed big time, especially for me (he may succeed with other girls), at least, because of that unfairness that he involuntarily showed.

4th Hmm - Too much unnecessary flatteries. Either he was thanking me, being too esctatic I was about to ease his burden and blurted out compliments, or just doing it to make me feel good. Too much of something is never good, especially when already feeling good. Never make promises when too happy. Never reply when too sad and never decide on anything when you are angry. If putting the 'too' in front, I would say "Never flatter too much when happy", "Never lament too much when sad", and "Never scold too much when angry". I always look around and find all these things so wrong yet so common.

So, my decision? NO I'm not going to meet him at the shop. I'm going to tell the Mama's Kitchen's auntie to tell him that I am busy if he by chance comes to the shop to ask. I've messaged to inform him but he can't message me back because he has no credit; that's the most I could do. By now you may be thinking that I'm mean but according to my evaluation

1. He is shroudy
2. I've only met him once
3. Jade messaged me about the exotic animal photoshoot program of our AniHELP event tomorrow (which I totally forgot) and I practically have to be there the whole day, so when I hate to lie, God gave me a valid reason not to lie, and not to go to the shop.


And yes. I am just so lucky today. THANK GOD! (In this case, quite literally.)






JWCD



P.S.: One of the Five Principles of Verbal Messages (Chapter 4): Messages are denotative and connotative. The Chinese guy may sound creepy in print but in reality it may not be that bad, depending on the people he meets and the personality to you possess.






Other notes but still quite important:

- I'm NOT trying to tarnish the Chinese man's image.

- This post is made solely for analyses and evaluation purposes for the Human Communication subject; this post WILL NOT GO OUT OF THIS CLASS.

- Any content that if by any chance or reason offends any individual it is all entitled to me. It is solely my own responsibility; Mr. Murali has absolutely nothing, and I repeat, absolutely nothing, to do with this post except for determining the value and marks of this post.

- Remember kids! The Five Principles of Verbal Messages
1. ...are denotative (very 'surface' meaning in print) and connotative (meaning in depth where you have to consider the next 4 principles to determine the meaning!)
2. ...vary in abstraction.
3. ...vary in directness. (Maybe you should just tell her you like her rather than peeking from wall edges! :P)
4. ...says that meanings are in people.
5. ...are influenced by culture and gender.

- Oh, I forgot something very important. The title name!



Ok. Signing off for now.

And just in case you don't remember who...


JWCD