Non-verbal communication (Body language) Week2Post2, JWCD

Girls, young girls, especially of our age like to dress nicely, sexily or just in nice clothing that flaunt themselves. To females it gives them confidence to know that they have some "assets" and nice points to flaunt. But to certain males or most males they will recieve the message of (from good to bad): "*Whistles* that's hot!", "I appreciate the eye-candy", "Hmm what are you WEARING?", "Geez girls nowadays", and so on, and the last and worst being "she's begging to be molested/ed". That last one, of course, only goes to the perverts. And although I've never worn anything shorter than the knees, some people still have the guts to make a move on me. That's one of the other reason that I wear pants everyday in KL. Hmm. That reminds me. I'm going to wear my first short skirt in my entire life on Chinese New Year. My mother must be worried I'll become a lesbian or something by the way I dress last time she came to escort me home that she agreed to let me wear something short when I merely suggested it. I guess that's another message I give out that really isn't right. Trust me though. I wear skirt everyday in my hometown. I don't know why, but even wearing a knee-length skirt is dangerous here in KL. Yeah it's not that bad as you think, I know. When I wear the short skirt, I wonder how would I fare? Maybe just wear it to school. No idea. I promised my friends to let them see me in a girl's attire at least once before graduation anyway.

Anyway, when males have the wooing reaction, isn't that a form of communication that replies to the girl's body language/ how she's presenting herself: "Hey, you look nice!" ? Then why girls who get wooed brush that off as insulting? Of course, when you break down what sometimes men say to represent "Hey, you look nice!", it includes: Whistling, giving the wink, giving you a smile that you may find lustful or offensive, etc. and the most undesirable of all - Body contact. Molestation. Physical molestation. But let's get back to the wooing part. Males (Strangers) may call you "lenglui" or "pretty gal" in Cantonese, or woo you. Isn't that a compliment on your beauty? Doesn't it feel good to be liked? Why do we still feel angry at that?

The answer then, I think, is the wrong form of communication. But WHAT exactly is wrong? I asked myself. Isn't it very direct? You're a girl, and you're pretty in his eyes. So what is offensive in there? Maybe his mistake is

1. being a stranger to you.
2. not being flowery enough to win you over.

Don't be angry with me yet. To translate it further, the mistakes of wooing someone:

1. "Strangers" is spelled as "T-R-O-U-B-L-E" to all, if not most people. It's natural to feel strange if one you don't know suddenly has something so good to say to you.

2. By not being flowery enough, I mean that sometimes people (male or female) just act immediately on their sudden emotions. And those instant emotions that pops up are RAW. And if you're a WWE fan, RAW is WAR!! And for those of you who don't understand, RAW = primitive, a no-no ESPECIALLY for girls, and is spelled as "A-N-N-O-Y-I-N-G". Maybe that's why our ancestors came up with the "think before you act" saying. There's also one saying that acting on impulse is acting on sin. You don't kill someone just because you're angry. Even if you're angry you don't go to THAT region where you take someone's life. So maybe that proverb applies too. Maybe.

I saw that obese guy in the Maju Trading litrally acting like a monkey: Wooing and BANGING the newspaper table as the office girls pass by! What impressed me was that the girls actually smiled at him. Maybe they've experienced it many times, or just that they are emotionally intelligent. I would admire them more if it was the latter.

The only solution to this problem is knowlege either spiritually or academically. The specific term is understanding of others and restraint of self. To give you a shortcut, I think smiling brightly as if a sun has suddenly brightened your room and standing your ground works, always. 1. Because smiling like that means you complement the girl/boy earnestly and 2. standing where you are will, and is the only way to show number 1. If you close in your distance, believe me, that person would think that you are trying to make a move on him/her. Careful. But I really believe that this is the right communication to make if you really want to compliment someone. If you are trying to get close to someone, do number 1 and get closer and just use verbal language. The most bodily contact you could manage that won't cross the comfortable border would be shaking hands. May work, may not work. Everyone is different.

Are my reasons very unsensible? Unreasonable? Not understandable? You don't need to understand. Don't try to talk me into wearing a skirt; I don't have one now until my parents bring me one at CNY and I don't have anything to prove to you and I don't need to prove anything to you as well.



Other notes:

If any party is offended by the content, it's probably because it doesn't apply to you. Or you just hate me. Maybe.

This post isn't meant to represent any of the two sexes in any way; everyone is different.



JWCD P.S. Does this post suck? Maybe.